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I had two major realizations today: 1) one big reason I like weight lifting is that it actually ameliorates my body image issues rather than exacerbating them, and that's pretty depressing, if you think about it, and 2) somewhere along the line I transmuted 'never thin enough' in my head into 'never fit enough', which is the reason I sometimes push myself to the point of injury and don't like taking time off from exercise.

SO. That's all just fucking delightful. I live in a culture that has trained me to physically punish myself for being fat, without noticing it, even when I'm actively advocating size acceptance. And the things I really like I like partly because they allow me to forget for thirty seconds that I'm a goddamn second class citizen and that everything about my body is wrong.

Fuck this culture.

Note: I'm not interested in arguing about my use of the word fat. Or whether that's a good or bad thing. Actually, if you don't agree with my experience, I just have absolutely no interest in hearing it. I'm posting this because it's not right that people like me feel like this all the time, and something should be said.

And if you're tempted to express sympathy, don't. Instead, go do something to improve the culture for people who look like me. You know, be an ally.